4 Signs You Might Not Make It to the Alter
He made the promise, you got the ring, but the path to the alter can have some twists and turns. The road from engagement to the wedding can be a bumpy ride. And if you’re dealing with these four issues, they could be signs that you might not make it to the alter.
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Tunnel Vision
Women can become encompassed by the magnitude of planning a wedding. It is easy to become overwhelmed and begin neglecting the relationship for the sake of the wedding plans and the wedding day. Getting tunnel vision over all the details you need to iron out can put your romance at risk. No one wants to feel like an event meant to showcase their commitment is more important than the commitment itself.
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My Dream Wedding
A more extreme version of the tunnel vision is taking over the process all together. Excluding your groom-to-be from any of the decision making so you can create your individual dream wedding defeats the purpose of unifying your life and home with another person. You and your husband will build and live your lives together, and both of you need to have input on how you will celebrate that union.
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Women’s Work
So, it is also a problem when one half of the couple refuses to participate in planning the wedding at all. A fiancé that is disinterested and dismissive of the planning process is showing he is disinterested and uncommitted to the work require to be in a lifelong relationship. He’s letting you know when something is not important to him or a bit boring he will bow out. This is not a good way to start a marriage or even continue a relationship.
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Family Values
Getting married should be a very personal decision between two people in love. But many women feel outside pressure to lasso and land a husband without giving as much consideration to creating a satisfying and stable union. Both men and women can pursue marriage to achieve societal inclusion and validation. But women are more likely to feel pressured to marry to accommodate friends and family, or feel valued in their community. And of course, starting a family early enough to conceive is an issue faced exclusively by women. Without a “ticking clock” men can wait much longer to tie the knot. But if you’re looking to get married for a whole host of reasons other than finding your perfect partner, there’s a chance that dream wedding may never happen.
Some proposals are promises you shouldn’t keep. It is not a sign of weakness to end things early if they’re not heading in the right direction. It is better to end an engagement than end a marriage. So make sure the person you promised to marry is the person you would actually want to be married to for the rest of your lives. And if you are experiencing any of these five issues, sit down and have a serious discussion with your mate; and perhaps even add a professional’s perspective.
